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February 08 2018




got a new antique bottle for christmas called mrs winslows soothing syrup which was marketed as a cure for coughing and to make babies quiet in the 1800s which, yeah, it would do that i guess because it was a mix of morphine, alcohol, and ammonia 

i know nobody cares abt my hyperspecific interest in antique medicine and alcohol bottles but look

im screaming how do you get exposed as a baby killer and still stay in business for 20 years

american medical association: just so you know, this will, uh, kill your baby

early 20th century parents: a little ammonia builds character



girl in language class: so why are you taking Italian? :)

me thinking about my plan to go back in time and raw Leonardo Da Vinci so hard he can’t walk for three days: I love the food

to clear things up because some of you clearly cannot fucking read: i am a homosexual man who is willing to go back in time and put my entire penis inside of historical figure Leonardo Da Vinci’s rectum in an act of anal sex and then go on to live a lavish and intellectually stimulating lifestyle as his beloved top. i don’t know what a video game is and i don’t care.



the four cardinal moods: africa by toto, judas by lady gaga, fourth of july by sufjan stevens, and mr brightside by the killers

what i mean by this is longing, mania, depression, and gay





Y'all ever just suddenly have the overwhelming urge to swim??? Like not actively but you just wanna,,, be in the water and have some Peace

Yes it’s called the mammalian diving response and it’s also why doing face masks and taking a shower is soothing. Our amphibian ancestors used this mechanism to slow down the heartbeat and lower body temperature so as not to waste calories while swimming (which is very calorie intensive). It makes you feel safe because predators are less likely to get you in water than on land. The fish brain is alive and well in all of us.

It’s literally activated by putting water on the face.


My amphibian ancestors gave me the instinct to dissociate in the shower for hours on end




it must be so nice to be rich instead of like … having to develop a personality

shut up lol

buy my silence



Kicked out of the Garden of Eden


I hate this. I fucking hate this. This is essentially a fucking hieroglyphic. I see that picture and I immediately hear a combination of sounds in my head with a very specific and comprehendable meaning. Like, I hear it. It’s not even a fucking video, its a still fucking picture but I hear it and know exactly what the OP was trying to convey because this picture has a word inherently attached to it



The most unrealistic thing about Hogwarts is there is no overt petty drama?? There are like 5 kids per year who have to live together for SEVEN YEARS and they can do MAGIC. You can’t tell me the muffliato charm wasn’t used to talk mad shit about people. How many witches hexed their best friend’s dress robes to always be one size too small because they were fighting? And you expect me to believe that people ACTUALLY stayed in bed during curfew instead of flying through the Scottish highlands? Also the castle is designed to ruin your fucking life. Can you imagine being drunk on the moving staircases?? That’s an entire mythology of student stories in and of itself. I’m just saying, when I was in high school someone locked and duct taped a car alarm into a locker and then set it off for two hours straight and I’m 95% sure he wasn’t even a wizard

I’m betting all this shit absolutely happened. Harry is the world’s most unreliable narrator because he is the world’s most oblivious person. I bet you $20 that there were a ton of people sneaking out at night who were just better at hiding than Harry was. 


when someone fucks you over, don’t you dare ask yourself, “what did i do to deserve this?”  NOTHING. you didn’t do shit. someone taking advantage of your kindness will never be your fault.


so i went to target earlier and i was looking through the men’s clothing section and was comparing two shirts and this woman came up to me and literally said  “oh, how nice! you must be shopping for your boyfriend”. and i, without thinking, replied: “nothing i do in life is ever for the sake of men”.




(wakes up at reasonable hour) (stays in bed for two more hours)

(goes to bed at a reasonable hour)(stays awake for two more hours)







you know what trend needs to come back? those fancy old french dresses with the giant hips. the ones that are so wide they look like someone stuck a table in there. i want a dress so big people have to shout casual conversation at me from ten feet away. what kind of love letter to the concept of personal space

perfect. don’t touch me

back the fuck off jean pierre!!!!

See they’re wide at the hips, but not so much at the back and front. A good crinoline would solve that problem. And top it off with a wide brim hat armed with a pin for good measure.


The most romantic things a man can do for a woman are the little things that let her know that she’s on his mind and in his heart.
— Joshua Harris (via perrfectly)


when u kinda jealous but u jus tryna be like whatever

February 07 2018

5897 df11


i fuckin hate that emoji face that’s laughing and crying at the same time, people will put it on literally anything like my friends were planning a picnic and someone was like ‘i’ll bring some crisps’ and used that face as if you would actually laugh so hard that u cried at the idea of bringing crisps to a picnic

5914 876a 420




oh no help this is adorable

Fun historical fact, there used to be more gay and lesbian content in early silent films until religious groups protested resulting in “decency standards.”

Always reblog LGBTQ historical stuff.

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The Shape of Water (2017) directed by Guillermo del Toro





a concept: a bus, but horizontal


i have to do all the work around here

I don’t know why but I was picturing this:

He had to fight his way to the top

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